We’re rolling out a new communications campaign at my new job. Essentially, employees will be able to call in and hear a recorded message from the head exec with news, etc.  On top of all of the promotion and coordination, I’m also in charge of making sure I understand how the recording works and my boss has decided that my cheery voice should be in the placeholder intro teaser to the call.

We were at my desk, discussing logistics and she wanted to run through how it would all work. I explained that I just finished recording the intro message, and she wanted to hear it. Great. I dialed the number and hit speaker. It rings.

“Hi sexy. You’ve called the right number if you’re looking for a great time …”

!!!!!

I panic, I flail, I hit buttons, I practically scream “wrong number! wrong number!” She freaks out that perhaps I’ve printed up all these flyers and made screensavers that give everyone the number to a sex line. We thankfully come to the conclusion that I’ve mis-dialed and we agree that that could not have gone more hilariously wrong.

I’ve been here exactly a month.

Which is sadly a better record than my first job in which I accidentally gave the whole company the impression during my introduction call that I regularly read porn on my way to work.