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Interlude

November 5, 2012

These must be the golden years. For the first time in what may be “ever” – I’m not currently planning or waiting or working towards something immediate.

Frank and I are married. There’s no waiting and wondering when he’ll propose, or thinking about planning a wedding. No anxious saving for a party, or lists of crafty projects that need to be made. I’m not worried about finding “the dress” or stressing about fitting into it. It’s done – it’s fabulous. The last thank you cards have been mailed, and now I just get to enjoy the pictures when they come in.

I have a new job. One I hope to stay at for a very long time. I’m not wondering where I’ll be working, or how long I’ll have to stay at a job I don’t like. I know what I do for a living, and I know how to do it well. I’m not revising resumes or writing cover letters.

School? An advanced degree? Not really even a thought at the moment. I’m not studying for any tests, or worrying about additional deadlines.

I’m not stressed about money. I mean – I am. I always am. But at the end of the day, there’s money in our accounts. Our financial goals are longer term; retirement, paying off student loans. A new car, a down payment.  I don’t have to freelance, or think about a side-hustle. And if I do –it’s extra –a way to get to a goal quicker, not to fill in a gap.

My family is stable. Obviously, there are issues. Stories about Flo stopped being funny a long time ago. Relations with my littlest sisters are tenuous. My sister is having a rough patch, and I’m worried about my mom’s upcoming surgery and if I can get my other grandmother into assisted living. But – we’re stable. I’m learning to deal with the constant ache that is missing my dad.

The horizon looks bright. We have so much to look forward to – eventual babies, a theoretical house, a potential move, Frank’s graduation and becoming a real dual-income family. I still have goals and plans for growth – professionally, health-wise and other, but I know where I’m headed and have a good idea about how to get there.

Obviously, anything can change in an instant. People get sick, have accidents, lose jobs, divorce – I know all of that. But for now? It’s quiet. This quiet, golden time is almost like a gift.  And I couldn’t be happier.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. November 5, 2012 7:46 pm

    Do you know what’s even better? The fact that you are noticing the quiet and appreciating it. Most people dwindle it away and don’t realize what they had until it’s gone.

    Enjoy. Every. Minute.

    Happy for you, friend. :)

  2. November 5, 2012 7:47 pm

    Oh, and I almost forgot, I LOVE this picture.

  3. April permalink
    November 27, 2012 11:11 pm

    I’m a little behind…sorry, but this is a beautiful post. And your friend above here, Kathleen, is spot on. I am very happy for you!

  4. December 7, 2012 8:30 am

    It was so heartening to find a post where someone is happy in both their life and their marriage. Too many of us fail to appreciate the calmer times in our lives. We notice the highs and the lows, but it’s the normal times in between that bind life together and make it worthwhile. Too many also fail to use these quiet times to build their marriages and their experiences together. While all’s well, they figure they don’t need to make the effort, a decision which they may well end up regretting later. Thanks for sharing your happiness with us.

    • December 8, 2012 10:46 pm

      Thanks Kristie! I hope you have some moments of “awesome” you’re enjoying as well.

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