I really, really love advice columns.  Advice columnist may actually be one of my dream jobs (along with traveling spa reviewer) and I certainly welcome your burning questions. But the only thing I love more than advice columns is miserable people getting what’s coming to them.

The absolute jewel in my day is when self-righteous jerks write into advice columns, furious about some perceived slights and are revealed as total jerks in their own right. Even better is when the advice columnist laces into them. It’s like some sort of perfect cosmic cocktail.

To wit, some of my recent favorites:

Bedbugs by Carolyn Hax
Crazy awful mother-in-law gives her son’s family bedbugs and then complains that they are upset. Bonus self-righteous points for complaining about her “strong” daughter-in-law who makes more money and always gets her way.

Precious Wife in the Workforce by Ask A Manager
A new boss asks his employee out to a lunch to celebrate the holidays, to thank her for a gift she gave him. Wife’s husband writes in asking how his wife should handle this apparently inappropriate situation.

How NOT to Bury Your Wife by Etiquette Hell
This one is a little annoying because the advice columnist apparently agrees with the old biddy acquaintance who was upset that someone moved on in their grieving process before she was ready for them to do so. But the comments make up for it. This one may be a little controversial, but the self-righteousness in the post puts it on this list.  Mainly because the writer thinks it was an etiquette breach.

Mother-In-Law as Spotlight Hog by Dear Prudence
This is the second question on the page. This paragon of selflessness and maternal instincts is furious that someone dared to get pregnant at the same time as her. Yes, it’s her mother in law, but she seems to believe that instead of just wanting another child, Mom got pregnant just to make her miserable.  As an aside, how many baby showers do you think this woman demanded?

Double Standards by Dear Prudence
This particular day happens to be almost perfection, but the two highlights are a woman in her late 50’s who expects perfection from her mates, but not in her self (Prudie’s response is kind of awesome) but the guy that takes the cake is the jerk that writes in to explain why he is so much more important than admin peons. The pile-on responses are great.

Please, send your advice column gems to me. Also, you know – if you have a burning question of your own and want a brutally honest answer, I do that too.

Part of learning how to be an adult is how to deal with money. Some people’s parents handle their money for them for a long, long time. Some were on their own from an early age. No matter where you stand currently, part of learning how to take care of yourself and others is making sure you are at the very least, aware of where your money goes. Because money is power, and you should have all that.  Power and money. And awareness.

(Note: I am NOT a financial expert. At all. As always: Don’t always trust the internet. Internet people can be sneaky. Ask an actual expert for advice. This is just to get you thinking.)

I have friends (believe it or not!) that financially range from knowing what the Dow Jones industrial average is on a given day, and friends who don’t believe in putting their money in anything more complicated than a checking account because they think the world may end up collapsing soon so what’s the point?

I’m somewhere in the middle. I know I need to look towards the future and retirement because I’ve seen what happens when you aren’t well prepared and it’s terrifying.  I also know that the best time to start worrying about this stuff is while you are still young. And you know me – I like to get a good jump on my worrying.

Why start worrying about retirement now, when you aren’t even sure you actually have a career yet and haven’t done other adult things like buy a house or pay off your car, or … well, we’ll get to that other stuff. But the reason is a little something called compound interest. You can read more about it, but in short – how I understand it is that the more you save, the more interest piles up, and the only way to make any real, substantial, not-eating-cat food-when-you’re-80 way to do this is to start now. Even if it’s not big money.

The two most common ways I’ve heard of to save for retirement are Roth IRAs and 401(k)s.

A  401(k) is a retirement savings plan which allows you to save for retirement pre-tax. It comes right out of your paycheck, so you’ll never miss it.  The pre-tax means you are not paying tax on the money you are putting into this account yet. When you withdraw it, at retirement age, you will then have to pay tax on it. Depending on your tax bracket and estimated tax brackets at age of retirement, etc. this may not be ideal. BUT (and here’s the big but) some companies will match how much money you put in, to some degree. So, if you put in 8%, the company may “match” you 4%. This means they are putting 4% extra into this account for you. A match is FREE money. It’s like a raise. This is a very good thing. If your company offers a 401k match, you should absolutely contribute the most you can to get the most match possible.  401(k)’s are also kind of great because the money comes out of your paycheck before you even see it. This way, you can’t skip out on contributing and don’t even have to worry about it. Pretend it’s like all the other crazy taxes that get taken out. Sigh, shake your head and move on.

What if your company doesn’t contribute (or offer!) a 401(k)? Or, what if you’ve contributed all you can to get the match, but still have money left over to invest?

The answer is a Roth IRA. (ProTip: In real life, pronounce this as “I.R.A.” not “ira” like a throwaway Scrabble word.) Or, it may be a regular IRA, but I don’t know much about those since … I don’t make enough money to bother researching that.

The Roth is also a retirement account, but you contribute to it after you’ve already paid your taxes on it. So, after you get your paycheck – THEN you take your money and put it in this kind of account. Because this is an individual account and you have to set it up yourself, this takes a little more thinking and legwork. But once it’s all done, you can almost certainly set up automatic deductions and then forget about it for awhile again.

As you may have surmised, I love Suze Orman. And I can tell you about Roths no better than Suze can. I promise that this article is really, really readable.

What I Do

When my company offered a 401k match, I took advantage of it. I contributed the most I could to get the full match. I did that from the very first day, my first job out of school. This way I didn’t even realize the money was “missing.” I budgeted everything based on this lower “actual money in my checking account” amount.  My plan was to continue doing this and then when I got on my feet a little more financially, I would take any extra money and open up a Roth IRA and contribute there as well.

Well, life happens. My company stopped offering a match, I was hoping temporarily. I continued contributing, because I was avoiding the hassle of opening up a Roth IRA and I hoped the match would come back. It was confirmed that the match isn’t coming back any time in the immediate future, so this year I stopped contributing. The plan was to immediately open up a Roth IRA, but I decided to take this extra money and finally pay off my car (another post altogether). Once that happens, I’ll open up my Roth IRA. I’m giving myself a hard deadline of June 1st to make my first contribution towards my future, even if the car isn’t paid off.

I hope this helped a bit. I know I didn’t get into mutual funds and all that other nitty-gritty. Mainly because I’m still learning how to understand it all, but I also find that most people struggle with these two larger concepts, so I wanted to focus on that.

Interested in learning more? Here are some of my favorites.

• Suze Orman
• The Mint Blog
• The Motley Fool
• Get Rich Slowly
• Quizzle

Did I miss anything on these two basics? Do you have money advice of your own and want to share? Not only do I really, really welcome comments, I would love some guest posters who have a knack for explaining complicated concepts about money (investments, budgeting, etc.) Please leave a comment/email me.

Also accepted: Comments on how awesome the new Erica/Suze Orman picture is!

Lately there have been a spate of single friends of mine getting acquainted with other single friends of mine. Sometimes, I’ve given the union a little … help.

But please, don’t think that I am just throwing any one who’s single at any one else who’s single. I think that’s only a recipe for disaster, and I am not one of those “couple” people that want to make sure she has other “couple” friends. In fact, since my boyfriend is frequently a social hermit, it’s actually easier for me to have single friends so that I don’t end up being the only one whose partner isn’t there.

But every once in awhile, I get a hunch.

All of a sudden, I’m looking at friends in a way that I (probably) haven’t look at before. Would I want to date them? What are their positives (those I probably know, because hey – they are my friends). What are their negatives? After listening to one person’s stories of dating failures and successes, do I think this other person would make them happy? Is he the kind of guy who would make sure to help you change a tire at 4 am? Would she be nice to his awful mother? Would she even be attracted to him? Is he going to be okay with her collection of stuffed animals? And then all of a sudden I’m taking people I love and putting them in leagues.  It’s awful.

Hooking friends up is so … exposing.

And then I am sure my friends are thinking to themselves “This? This is what she thinks I’d be attracted to?” or wanting to kill me because I forgot to mention some adorable quirk that would certainly be a deal-breaker.

“Oh? Did I not mention his blankie? Don’t worry – it’s great when you get cold! But did you see his awesome collection of vintage soda signs?“

I also tend to be an open book. Which means I tell funny stories about my friends, or I’ll vent about an issue or tell goofy stories about a night out, not thinking that in the future, I may want two people from disparate groups to meet. And then I get the brilliant force telling me “make a shidduch!” and the person I bring it up to inevitably says “Wait, isn’t that the same guy from that story where someone got left in a tree?”  There’s very often a point of no return from there.

It’s just not worth doing unless you are pretty sure it’s at least going to work or end up in a new friendship. Because the last thing I want is for some people to absolutely hate each other and then I have to worry about putting them in the same room for the next 50 or so years.

Inevitably, initially, there becomes “sides.” I mean, if you get the story equally from everyone, it’s just a disaster. And you can’t help but feel used or way over-involved. I tend to avoid this by not putting really close friends together so this way, it’s obvious where my loyalty will lie.

Then there’s also the risk of over-sharing.  Normally, I love over-sharing. But there are some things about my friends that I am pretty sure I really, really don’t want to know.

C’mon, like you didn’t know I would include a little Fiddler on the Roof?

I write knowing anyone could be reading. My boss, potential future bosses, my friends, total internet strangers – whoever. I have chosen not to be an anonymous blogger, because if it’s on the internet, chances are – you won’t be anonymous for long, and I didn’t want to write with that kind of false security.

I thought the blog would mainly be about my family and friends. I thought that stories about Grandma could keep me in business for years. So, I told Mom about it and wrote knowing that my mom could read my blog, even if she never really mentioned it. I then somehow got off topic, and wrote more about other parts of my life and … you know, I still don’t know what this blog is about.  Somewhere along the line, both my mom and aunt and apparently a cousin or two read the blog. And some edits were made. And now, I realized that I knew my audience. Really, really well.

Where am I going with all of this?

Moms read blogs. It’s not just me. Alana’s mom from Indie Not Punk reads hers. And Marie from McKinney-Oates Cereal has full on conversations with her mom on her blog.  I am sure lots of other people’s moms read their blogs.  And it feels very, very different when moms read then when bosses read, or friends or boyfriends.

I don’t write posts for my mom or family, but of course there is some self-censoring going on. But not really for mom. Even a silly post about how much I love dinosaurs or what I did over the weekend, I re-read with the idea that my boss is reading it.  Like, is this embarrassing enough to make my weekly check-in’s really awkward?  (I accept a little awkward.) If this post was associated publicly with my company, would people want me fired? If the answer is “no,” then up it goes. I don’t do the same check for “Mom Appropriateness” because if it’s good enough for my boss, it’s good enough for mom. Which I suppose isn’t really flattering, and says nothing about how much I love and respect my mom, but you get the point. Generally. Although there are some stories that I am sure my company wouldn’t care about, but I don’t think my mom needs to know–like what the real story was about the guy from the record store.

Really? Get to the point.

My mom and I have a different relationship now. I suppose any one who reads my blog and knows me in real life does too. But I think that bloggers and moms-in-the-know have a new kind of relationship. She doesn’t have to call me every day to see what I am doing (but she does!) and she now knows my opinion on all sorts of things that probably wouldn’t come up on a drive to Stew Leonard’s. She gets a peek into some of my insecurities and an insight into things that I am really good at. (Ending that previous sentence on a grammatically correct note is not one of them.)

Blogging is kind of like leaving out an unlocked diary on the kitchen table. Without the awful poetry. Moms have insight into all the stuff that we weren’t exactly keeping from them, but probably wouldn’t bring up in the first place. I bet you Mom wishes I had a blog back when I was a goth’ed-out teen and piercing stuff.  But then again, I would probably have kept two sets of books.

This was the week of the whole snowstorm that covered the Northeast. I think. I haven’t really been paying attention because since Friday night, I’ve been home sick.  I briefly braved the outside world on Saturday morning to take Eva to the doctor and go food shopping, but other than that – I haven’t left the apartment.

It started with just a small fever and a sore throat. And that stuck around for awhile. Then it was just general ickiness and malaise. And some gross coughing. At some point it turned into sneezing and a runny nose. That’s pretty much where it is now. No, I haven’t gone to the doctor. Partially because it’s too snowy to drive and I would have to walk in the snow, and I have a feeling that’s probably not a good idea. Also partially because I kind of had a fight with him after the whole “prescription incident.”

Depending on the day, I”ve been either been working from home or calling in sick to work and laying on the couch and watching Bones, House, prison shows or Ghost Hunters.  I’m all out. My DVR recording is now down to 27% and now all that’s left is some NOVA shows and Dave Ramsey. I still can’t decide how much I hate that guy, but I can’t bring myself to delete it. It’s like Suze Orman methadone.

The big excitement of the week? The toilet was running and I was all “I could handle this! I’m a capable young woman!” and I took off the top of the toilet tank and water was going everywhere. I jiggled the balloon-thing-a-mabob. It broke off in my hands. Seriously. Hours before snowmageddon was about to begin. The maintenance guy came and turned off the water-thingy. And then he wanted $250 cash to fix it. And my landlord called and was awesome. And then she got into a fight with the maintenance guy and then he refused to work on my apartment. (See people, it’s not just me!)

Long story short, Frank tried to convince me that the toilet was fine and we could pretend we were camping and flush it with buckets or something. I took myself off of liquids (bad idea when you have a cold) and plumbers came in the morning. And now it flushes even better than it did before! These are the things that are exciting when you haven’t left the house in SIX DAYS!!!!

Bonus: I have no idea why I thought this IM conversation was funny, but I wrote it down because it cracked me up for like 15 minutes. Now that my temperature is back to normal, I no longer know. But I still want to share. Enjoy.

Friend: can i be married to channing tatum?
Me: no. he boiled his penis. and he’s married to Jenna Dewan
Me: But, he did have a Funfetti wedding cake. So, that’s pretty redeeming.
Friend: really? that’s awesome
Me: these are the things I know.
Friend: that’s why we like you

Bonus-Bonus: Frank bundled me up and we took Eva outside to play. She loves the snow. We took her to this fenced-in area, and I threw snowball after snowball for her to chase. It was the cutest fun, ever. I love this dog.

Around this time last year, I was debating whether I should apply to grad school for an MS in I/O Psychology.

I did. And I got in. I was into it. I started blogging about my classes. All was well in the world.  For awhile.

The classes were interesting. Until they got a little more in-depth. It’s not that it was too hard, or dry or anything like that. It was just … boring. I couldn’t imagine wanting to do this in real life, and this wasn’t even the very technical stuff. My classmates weren’t engaging, the supplemental reading was tear-inducing and the appeal just … wasn’t there.

So, I freaked out. I stopped blogging about the class (mainly because I really couldn’t think of anything to say, unless it was about how much I hated group work) and thought about quitting. I thought about how much money I was spending, and how much the idea of going to school two nights a week was filling me with dread.  I still loved the topic, but the parts of it I loved – I don’t think I need grad school to learn.

But I couldn’t quit. I mean, who quits after one semester? I told myself to suck it up, and the thoughts of self-doubt and guilt and embarrassment surfaced. You can’t just quit when something isn’t fun any more, right?

I decided that since the next class I had to take was stats, I would just suck it up and do it. It’s a required class, and even if I decided that I wasn’t going to continue with the degree, getting an intro to stats could only be a good thing. I’m not math oriented, have never taken stats and I work for a tutoring company, and the tutors could fill in the gaps in this intro class.

I went to the first day of class. I can write a whole blog post about the nightmare that this class was, but the short version is that this was not an intro class. There was an “unofficial” pre-req. The level of statistics was just way, way above my “I’ve heard the term regression and vaguely remember something about standard deviation” head. It was all group work and SPSS and labs and … not for me.

I spoke with the professor, and the department advisor and the department secretary. Everyone agreed that the professor shouldn’t have made it this difficult and I shouldn’t have needed a pre-req, but there was really no recourse. I think that because most of their students were probably Psychology majors in undergrad, most students had at least a few stats classes under their belt. But, the department couldn’t have been nicer. They offered office hours, switching to an undergrad class and taking this class again. They offered me sitting in on this class, and switching this semester’s class to an elective for now. They showed me the available electives. These should have been the fun classes. They did not sound fun. And the idea of doing all this extra work, and spending extra money to take a class that I was only taking because I thought it would have other relevance? My stomach was turning.

I had another freak out. I knew that in my gut, I wanted to quit. But that voice in my head was telling me that I shouldn’t. It taunted me that I always quit when things get tough, and how disappointed everyone would be in me. I thought about how this could be my last shot at school, because the idea of asking for recommendations for school again and taking the GRE in the future is just … not happening.  My boyfriend reminded me that I am a smart girl, and that I could get through this.

But my gut was telling me that this was not for me. Luckily, I have some great friends and a supportive partner. I also had a great conversation with someone at my office that I truly admire and who was once in a similar situation in her career.

I reviewed the reasons I wanted to go in the first place. And none of them fit any more. I started grad school because I wanted to do something fun, because I felt time was running out, and because I had a vision of myself as having a graduate education.  And while time was running out to apply, it’s going by even quicker when I am doing something I don’t like doing – and I’m losing out on time I could be spending on projects I love. And while I still love this vision of me, it’s a self-imposed vision.

It seemed more and more that the only reason to stay was because I was scared of what leaving would say about me. But as many people reminded me, I am not a 10 year old girl who hates her new ice skating lessons.

So, I dropped the class. Sure, if I think I made a mistake, I can just enroll next semester, take the class with a different professor and just start fresh. So, I have an out. But for now, dropping this class means I dropped the degree. I’m done with school.

I’m still a little freaked out about my decision. I am having a hard time shaking the feeling of failure and that I disappointed people, or that I took the easy road. I felt the same way when I decided not to pursue a graduate degree in Anthropology. And the funny thing is, I still sometimes feel bad about that – but I don’t think I made a mistake. But overall, what I feel is relief.

I think that when the dust settles, and I’m further down the road then I am now, I am going to look back and be proud of myself for listening to my gut. And the sooner I learn to trust myself and pursue things I am passionate about instead of what I think I should be doing, the more successful and happy I will be.

photo credit: dcwriterdawn

I’ve been working on being a grown-up. I  know that sounds absurd coming from a woman in her late-twenties who has a full-time job, healthcare and a retirement account, but for some reason none of those things make me feel like an adult. We learned a while back that things like having toothbrushes available for friends makes me feel like a grown-up. Having matching plates, getting oil changes on time, never running out of paper towels and not only having a spare key, but knowing where one is–those are the things that make me feel like a big girl.  And I’ve been trying to be more organized.

And really, I’ve gotten much better. I use my calendars and write my notes. I try to think ahead and make life a little easier on myself.

Today was my shining moment.

When I took the dog for a walk this morning, it was brisk out. By the time I got the dog in, there were gentle flurries. After a shower, putting on clothing (laid out the night before) and accessories (inspired by Carolann) and I left the house (after successfully locating my gloves and scarf, thoughtfully placed in one convenient location) it was full on snowing.*

I got to the office, feet soaked. My adorable boots apparently have a hole in the sole (note: bring to cobbler). And here is where my first feat of awesome grown-up-ness came in.

I took off my boots and put on the neutral-colored flats I have left in the office.

Not actual shoe, but pretty close!

It looked nice! In fact, I even got a compliment on my outfit. Yes, my wet jean cuffs made my feet a little cold, but I still read: adult.

I know, this alone would be enough for gasps of admiration from my peers. But wait–there’s more!

When leaving the office (it’s Grandma’s birthday today — I want to tell more stories, but we are in Terror Alert Yellow as she has found my blog, so all grandma posts are password protected. I believe the situation has been contained and she has only seen the “about” page, but until I’m sure, we’re on lockdown) I realized I couldn’t put back on my boots, because my socks were still soaking wet. Have you ever put on wet socks? Awful. I could wear the flats home, but it’s really, really cold in NYC today.

But then, something amazing happened. I reached into my desk drawer, past the oatmeal, beyond the cinnamon shakers, spare birthday cards and antacids and pulled out my crowning achievement.

Hallelujah!

Yes, that’s right. I had, at some point, when bringing home a gym bag, decided to leave a pair of socks in my office for an emergency. I was prepared. I put on my socks, smiled and then ran out to buy my grandma a gift because I totally forgot.

*At this point in time, an adult would have gone back inside to put on actual snow boots. And probably wouldn’t have been running late for work. But I need some goals to strive towards.

I’ve been working since I was about 14. I don’t really know why I started so early (other than my mom wouldn’t just let me stay home from summer camp and sit on the couch) but it’s not like I saved for college or did anything awesome with my money other than pay my beeper bill. My mom didn’t have a lot of money, and I never had an allowance, so I this was my spending cash – but I think I just really liked working. The responsibility, the rhythm, being around people who weren’t in junior high/high school…

That being said, I have had some odd jobs. Not all of these jobs lasted a long time–some just a semester and some overlapped. And I’m not counting babysitting.  But I think my “resume” is worth sharing.

In what I think is chronological order – Jobs I Have Held:

Clerk, Bayside Milk Farm
A family-run, upscale produce/grocery/appetizing store. I worked the registers with a chain-smoker named Jolene. I am pretty sure there were some shady dealings at this store and man-oh-man did it take in money. I eventually quit because they wouldn’t work with my junior high schedule. Also, the produce manager had a lovely habit of assigning each of the clerk’s chest different fruit categories. The girl deemed “Cherry” would always go home crying. Welcome to the working world.

Bridal Consultant
Somehow, someone decided that not only should I help brides with fashion choices, I should go near them with sharp pins, dress their mothers and bridesmaids, memorize fabrics and convince every bride that her wedding dress will be classy and original. And that her special princess day is the most important day in all of our lives. I was actually pretty good at this, as long as I could sell the one or two dresses that I didn’t think were hideous. I vaguely remember Little Miss Sarcasm also working here with me.
Awesome things learned: If you can handle a mother-of-the-bride, you can handle anyone. Seriously.

File Clerk/Law Firm
I filed stuff. It was supposed to be in alphabetical order, but I was a little lax. I actually worked for two different law firms, but I am condensing them here. One was a real estate attorney. The other was a divorce attorney. I spent a lot of time in the back room reading the details of people’s divorce and custody agreements. This makes me a bad, but very nosy person. I once left work crying and with the sympathy of three paralegals because my then-boyfriend dumped me. For the first time.
Awesome things learned:  The boyfriend would dump me many times in the future, and it was never worth crying at work over. And that you shouldn’t get married willy-nilly (but I kinda already know that.)

Clerk/August Moon
This was one of my most favoritest jobs. Working at August Moon was considered pretty cool. It was a collectibles/gift store that also sold party favors, balloons and rented out costumed characters. We also had a seasonal, awesome costume rental store. My responsibilities included regular store clerk stuff, custom invitations but I was also put in charge of the Beanie Babies consignment. This may have been my most high-pressure situation to-date.  I also occasionally had to get into a furry-mascot suit and hand out flyers. I worked here for about two and a half years.
Awesome things learned: How to make a balloon arches and balloon/styrofoam centerpieces.

Assistant Clown/Carny
Yes, I was an assistant. Essentially, my then-boyfriend was the clown/costume character and my responsibilities included Febreezing the outfits, taking pictures of the kids with the clown, running carnival games, serving food and fending off both advances from drunk firemen and evil eyes from their wives.
Awesome things learned: I can make about 12 different balloon animals (all variations on a poodle), and I can make perfect sno-cones and cotton candy twirls.

Medical Records Collection for Life Insurance Underwriting
Life insurance agents need your medical records in order to decide your … plan stuff. Way back when, before email and scanners were popular, this was a pain in the butt. So, they hired companies to do this for them. I worked for one of those companies. My job, all day, was to call up doctors offices and hospitals and request medical records. I would wait on hold, beg, call back, beg again. It was awful. I did this for about two years, off and on. My co-workers were all miserable, middle-aged women who hated their lives. One of my co-workers had a daughter who was dating my boyfriend. Unfortunately, so was I.
Awesome things learned: That it’s very important to stay in school.

Office Manager, Paper Brokerage
I don’t think I was here more than a month. My boss was a father-son team who despite me explaining my technical abilities, figured that as long as I knew how to turn on a computer I could also re-write database programs and design websites. This was not true. I do remember that the father wore oversized, tinted women’s glasses.
Awesome things learned: I learned that there are companies like “paper brokerages.”

Bartender/Waitress
Nothing really to note here. I actually really liked doing these kinds of service jobs, but it was always in addition to another job, and just too much for a full-time college student with another part-time job. I also attended bartending school. I have never had, but can easily prepare you a Rusty Nail or a Harvey Wallbanger.
Awesome things learned: Despite being really, really clumsy, I am a pretty good balancer of plates/trays.

Closing Coordinator, Mortgage Company
I worked in the closing department of a mortgage broker for years. It was boring, repetitive but it was the job I worked almost all through college, and it kind of became my entire social life. In fact, a friend got me the job, and I brought on my (then) best friend, my sister, my friend Rachel and at times, my then-boyfriend (yes, that same jerk.) I still keep in touch with a lot of people from there, and keep up with the gossip because Rachel’s boyfriend still works there. I left after I graduated college. I was offered a full-time position, but while I was occasionally challenged, mortgages just aren’t for me. Perks included seeing the appraisals and inside photos of some high-profile clients.
Awesome things learned: Lots of great stuff about credit scores and personal finance.

Intern at the AMNH, North American Archaeology
No matter what job I have, this will always be the coolest. Mainly because it was very little work and a lot of walking around behind locked doors at the museum and looking at awesome artifacts, getting behind the scenes looks at the Human Genome Project, death masks and curiosities from the early collections, learning stories about Margaret Mead and hanging out with the curators in the professional lounges. They paid me for this. I also did all sorts of research and collections cataloging and curation. I was asked to help with some exhibits, but since I apparently can’t cut in straight lines, I was removed from that project.
Awesome things learned: Just that all the really cool stuff is behind locked doors and some awesome stories to tell when I walk around the museum like a pretentious snob.

What I do now isn’t wild or wacky, and the skills I have learned are more valuable but not as general-population-fascinating as balloon animals. But the short version is I am a Marketing Manager/Social Media Specialist. And while it has it’s own host of crazy stories, since I very much love my job, I will keep those to myself.

What’s the craziest job you ever had? What’s the coolest thing you learned from a job?

I am having a general, no-good, cranky week. Some of it is legtimiately cranky, some of it makes absolutely no sense, and yes–I am aware of how ridiculous this whine sounds in light of what’s happening in Haiti and how most of this stuff is totally ridiculous and soon shall pass. But I want to whine, and a blog seems like the most self-serving place to do it. Or, I could like – call a friend. But this is so much more emo. In no particular order:

Reasons I am cranky

• My favorite TV show, Hoarders made me angry and sad for the kids of hoarders.
• My foul mood is compounded by a book the book I read on the way to work about teen rape. Thanks a lot, popular YA teen writer. My book home, by the same author is about eating disorders. I’m a ball of fun.
• I am so tired of walking the dog in mud
• My 90-year-old grandpa has a burst aneurysm in his stomach. It doesn’t look good. They can’t operate because of his medications. I am nervous, but this guy has made it through what seems to be a lot worse, so I am not sure how panicked to get. This also makes me feel sad.
• If Grandpa does pass, it would be a scramble to get down there since Frank is still away and I don’t know who I can get to watch my 90 lb. dog that doesn’t seem to get along with other dogs and I wouldn’t dare test with a cat.
• I miss Frank.
• I was greeted with 666 unread items in my work’s Google Reader. Spooky.
• Work was a little frustrating/disappointing today. I obviously won’t go into too much, but the morning started with kind of a bummer. It will get resolved, but I was all geared up for thrills and excitement.
• Within two minutes I had an an angry customer call. Those are never fun.
• My glasses are always dirty.
• It’s very hot in the office.
• The MA election. I am woefully uneducated about what happened there, but I have a sinking feeling that if I researched it, I would be very angry and disappointed. So, I am going to skip the part where I learn what happened and just go straight to “what the hell is wrong with this country?”
• I’m excited about our True Nerd Trivia event tonight, but am irrationally annoyed that I have to go home first and walk the dog, and then won’t want to go back out. Yes, I knew this would happen when I got a dog. That doesn’t mean I can’t be cranky about it.
• I feel like I don’t have time to do all the stuff I want to do for all my side-projects (including this blog, and the aforementioned trivia)
• I have a million little chores I still have to do at home–paying random medical bills, folding laundry, the dishes, etc.
• I have to call American Express for the fifth time to get them to remove a crazy charge they put on for no reason. Now the issue is, they removed the charge, but I was charged interest on it. This is crazy-making.
• Whine whine.

I was leaving Dunkin’ Donuts on Friday morning and I passed by this guy on line.  I just got a look at him out of the corner of my eye, and I could swear it was Joss Whedon.  I love Joss Whedon. I froze. I panicked. I didn’t want a repeat of the Kevin Smith Horror Show and I wanted to do this right. I mean, Joss!

It wasn’t Joss. It was just some random, somewhat schlubby looking guy who wanted a pumpkin muffin. It was a close call, but I am proud to report that I was actually ready. I actually knew that I would in fact say something (I would probably outwardly ignore most celebrities) and had a pretty good idea of what I would have said (something about Firefly being awesome and never forgiving him for killing off my boy). This my friends, is progress.

I spent the rest of my walk to work debating over if I would buy him coffee, and how would I manage that since I had already paid. Would he really let me take out my wallet and treat him? Wouldn’t that be a little weird? But that would be a nice way to show appreciation, right?

These are the questions that plague me.

And as of now, I really can’t think of another celebrity that I would actually try to speak to. I mean, if I run into Kevin Smith again, I have an opening. Joss, I am apparently prepared for (as long as it isn’t in a coffee shop). Who else is there? My beloved Patrick Swayze is dead, and David Duchovny has creeped me out. I should probably prepare something for Lucy Lawless, Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Mel Brooks, Nathan Fillion and Edward James Olmos.

Yeah, I’m not creepy at all.

Who are you prepared for? Or do normal people not do this?