Tag Archives: job

Things I’m Not Writing About

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It got quiet ’round these parts, huh?

It’s because my life got all wrapped around two pretty major things, and I didn’t want to, or couldn’t write about either one. But, the dust has settled a bit and I want to tell you what I won’t be writing about.

My Job

I got a new job. No, that isn’t deja vu. It’s a new, new job. Turns out, my previous company wasn’t exactly the land of milk and honey. And I learned some valuable, important lessons about trusting your gut and looking before you leap. And a whole host of other lessons that just aren’t appropriate to write about right now. And maybe not ever. But I did meet some great people in the process. But, after about 5 months, I resigned from my job and took another position.

I think all’s well that ends well, and today was my second day at the new gig.  It’s a giant organization and while they know I blog, this position has the potential to be high profile and I’m going to err on the side of caution and not name it. But, I’m working in internal communications for a giant healthcare system in the region. Of course, I have some reservations and my job-seeking confidence is totally shot, but it looks like it could be right up my alley, and has a lot of great opportunity. And some awesome benefits. So, we’ll see where this adventure takes me.

On the brighter side, among the lessons I learned was that this kind of thing (leaving a job after only a few months) happens to people. In fact, it happened to two of the people I consider mentors and role models. So, that was cool. And seriously, if you ever need an ego boost? Ask your friends and colleagues to serve as references for you.  You get to hear some really cool stuff about yourself.

But, for those of you playing the home game – let’s recap! In the last six months: I left my job of six years, my dad passed away, I started a new job, went to Iceland, got engaged, quit my new job and started a new job on a different career path.

It’s never dull.

The Wedding

This is the other thing I’m not writing about. It kinda took over my brain. There are so many awesome, amazing communities and blogs, not only for inspiration – but for people like me. Women who are excited to plan a wedding, but want something different; who have some mixed feelings about wanting to honor some traditions and have a wedding and wear a white gown, but have issues with the whole wedding industry and anti-feminist roots of some of those traditions. Namely, the communities at both Offbeat Bride and A Practical Wedding have been really wonderful.

But there are a LOT of blogs. And part of me can’t believe I’m not blogging about my own wedding. All the DIY crafts, the insanity of decision paralysis, the minute details that no one cares about? The blogosphere does! So, why am I not making this a wedding blog? Why am I not starting another wedding blog, or participating in a group blogging project like WeddingBee or Budget Savvy Bride?

A few reasons.

  1. I simply don’t have the time.
  2. A good chunk of my regular readers will be invited to the wedding. I don’t want to spoil any fun surprises!
  3. Some people I know and love and want to be there, won’t be invited to our relatively small wedding. I just simply can’t afford it. And it almost feels wrong to put all of this out there.
  4. As much as I love reading and consuming these blogs, I’m simply not feeling compelled to share.
  5. I sometimes hate the people who share. As in, “Seriously lady? The most meaningful thing your new husband did for you on your wedding day was upgrade to chiavari chairs?” (Yes, I know what chiavari chairs are now.)
  6. I think not writing about the wedding is the best way for me to avoid obsessing about the wedding. It’s so easy to get sucked down the bridal bunny hole.
  7. Blogging may invite drama. And I am still getting weekly emails asking how to remove a bridesmaid from your wedding party. I’m all full up on the drama!

Keep in mind, the wedding is still about a year away. This all may change the closer we are to the date, but for now? I’m content with making lists, and pinterest boards and emailing my sister.

So, that’s what’s been going in my life.

What about you, people? Spill it. What have I been missing?

New Things to Worry About!

Part of the problem with having a wildly successful blog (*snort*) is that I can’t write about certain things. Obviously not because I am embarrassed to tell the internet about my shower routine or pretend pets, but because people at work read this. And I am trying not to let it inhibit me too much, but at the same time – a little fear of telling the public what a nutcase I am is probably healthy for my career.

So, I won’t tell you about how on a Friday after a long week where I was just feeling kind of “out of it” and cranky for no real reason, that I came into work pretty late. I shouldn’t have been late, and have been pretty good about coming in on-time (read: much earlier) in the past few weeks, but it was Friday, gloomy, I had no meetings and I just wasn’t that worried. So, I won’t tell you that after I got to my desk 40 minutes late that I saw I had an IM from the CEO, twenty minutes earlier, asking if I was in the office. Or that he wanted to go to lunch with me today and I looked down and I was wearing my awesome “Day of the Dead” skull shoes. Very professional. Because, if that had happened to me, it would be just my luck. But I wouldn’t tell you guys all that.

Here’s what I will tell you.  I was on my way home after what ended up being a pretty productive day (even though I was hungry, because despite being bought lunch – I didn’t eat much because I was busy yapping) and Frank called to tell me that there was a letter in the mail for me – from grad school! He confirmed it was a thin letter, so I asked him to just open it and read it – because at least this way I will know if I needed to buy ice cream on the way home (believe me, this makes sense to me.)

He opened it. Grad school was pleased to accept my application! I am in. This was very exciting! I was of course, hoping to get in, but was aware that it was a possibility I wouldn’t be accepted. But I am! Eventually, at some point, somehow, I will get my MS in Industrial and Organizational Psychology. I have to figure out how I am going to pay for it, what my schedule will look like and all those other fun details later, but for now – I am just going to be happy that the chapter of my life where I worry about having to eventually re-take the GRE, and if I should go to grad school -is over. Now I can start being anxious and nervous over something real instead of something theoretical. This, in my world, is considered an improvement.

Ask Erica Vol. 2 – Reluctant Workers and Incompetent Assistants

In this week’s column, there are two anonymous questions and they are both about work and careers. I am halfway to legitimate!

How do you deal with a job you have absolutely no motivation for and actually don’t even need, but feel obligated to stay?

This is kind of interesting. I find that when giving advice, there are usually a lot more questions than there are answers. Depending on why you feel obligated to stay may help shape some reasons for getting up and schlepping to work in the morning. I am going to assume it’s some sort of awesome reason – like you signed a (non-enforceable) contract, or baby penguins are saved or something. I am also going to assume that there’s some sort of clear end-point. If there isn’t? Then just do it. People get divorced, you can end a job you think is crappy.

But – assuming the end is in sight,and leaving really isn’t a good option, I am afraid the answer that can apply in a lot of different situations:  Put on a happy face. Look, being miserable and showing it isn’t going to do any good. And doing a job, but doing it half-assed is just going to hurt your morale and make you spiral into miserableness even more  – and isn’t doing the company any favors. So, smile and do a good job. You never know what may come of this – you don’t need the job, but maybe you run into some one who can help you out somewhere else, or maybe you develop a skill you weren’t looking for, but comes in handy.  And then, when it ends – you can end it cleanly and professionally and have some pride in a job well done. And complete.

Another option (possibly to be used concurrently to smiling) is to talk to your employer. Maybe they aren’t too thrilled with you either? You don’t have to flat-out quit, but maybe suggest that this pairing may not have been a great fit for either party and is there anything you can do to improve the situation. They can either then gracefully fire you, or maybe, just maybe – make it better! Good luck.

I have a Sales Assistant who for all intents and purposes is a complete corporate retard, and on top of that is totally incompetent. I find myself fantasizing about squeezing her head when we have conversations like this:

Me: Call [Company Name] and get the Division 17 specifications sent to you via email
*Paint chip snacking Sales Assistant: Well Bella, I just looked at the Division 23 spec real quick and it says “HVAC Installation”
Me: Hortense, I just went through the entire 472 page document — something that you should have done yesterday and I need the Division 17.
*Paint chip snacking Sales Assistant: Maybe you misread, it says “HVAC Installation”
Me: Maybe you don’t know what you’re talking about. We don’t do “HVAC Installation”. Now, why don’t you just do it my way and call [ company] and request the Division 17 specs

*Names have been changed as a means for me not to lose my job.

After this conversation I was 2 things, completely unsatisfied with my conduct, and still seething from the fact that she’s a moron and that I feel I should be getting 50% of her paycheck. What is a girl to do?

Some email clarification revealed that while “Bella” does have authority over the Sales Assistant’s employment, she would like to try to learn to be a better manager, and see if this could be salvaged. With that in mind – Eeek!

My initial thought is that while this girl may not be the brightest eco-friendly bulb in the box, there is some sort of power struggle here. She wants to be appear intelligent and show you that she knows her stuff, and she is being combative. It sounds like she learned it from watching you!

This conversation is a little telling. Some of these issues may be related, but they are brought together in one cringing jumble. I would have rather you asked why she thought HVAC was part of the description if that’s not something you do. Maybe that could help determine how or why she is reading these reports incorrectly. And if she did not do something that was requested of her by a deadline, was this mentioned to her in another conversation? Did she not do this because she was overworked? Unsure of how to do it, but afraid to ask?

It is important to document work-related behavior, both as a paper back-up and to be fair to the person being reprimanded, so they are clear that they are on shaky ground and given a chance to improve. But it sounds to me like this issue is probably more personality based than it is actual knowledge (though no less of a problem).

I wish there was a relationship reset button. It’s important for the company’s sake that you two work as a team, and if there is animosity or one-upmanship, it is the company and the clients who are going to lose.

Schedule a meeting with her. Ask her what her long-term goals are and where she thinks she can improve.  She may have some in mind, but come prepared with some areas that you  know she needs improvement.

Then, help her improve. Maybe explain how on a personal level, you learned this stuff from the ground-up, and give her some tips to keep what could be complicated new terms and jargon organized. Were there books you read that helped? Give her some measurable goals that she can achieve. Then ask her what you can do to help her achieve those goals. Make sure some of them have a set end-date so that you can determine if they were a success. Check in with her, periodically to see how she is progressing and if she needs additional resources or support.

I hope this helps, and please feel free to write for more clarification. Does anyone else have any advice for the Unmotivated Worker, or the Supervisor of the Paint Chip Eater?

To get some advice of your own, submit a question in the comments or email me at youshouldonlyknow@gmail.com. If you prefer to remain anonymous, just let me know.

Where do the “Cool Jobs” live?

So, lately I have been watching/participating in a rather hysterical internet fight between Ask a Manager and Rebecca from Modite.com

Essentially, Rebecca gave some, what I consider to be, awful advice about burning bridges, and championing the “new rules” and that “cool jobs” won’t check references. But if you want to work, in like, insurance  – go right ahead and be old school.

What?

I read a lot of websites that seem to focus on Generation Y and Millenials (I think I may fall into this demographic) and am convinced that for a lot of people, they are just posting to be inflammatory and link-baiting, but I think a large majority of them believe their own hype. But, that’s for another day. My issue is this idea that the only “cool, change the world” jobs are in internet start-ups with questionable profitability plans.  And what is actually changing in this New World Order? Can’t I change the world if I work in an insurance firm? Or in a mid-sized internet company? What if I am in charge of corporate responsibility at Bear Stearns, or Wal-Mart?And what are these life-changing things that are happening as a result of these new rules. We got Obama elected, and really utilized social media. Okay. Now what? I feel as if I see a lot of passion, but no clear goal. What about the world are we trying to change?

Are these conversations about jobs and career advice only for those who want to work in PR/Marketing or Community Building? Is this “new way of thinking” non-applicable for those who work in some other, perhaps lame field? Or for large, established companies?

Is this obsession with “cool jobs” really just a desire for large salaries given for skills that consist mainly of using the internet and technology effectively? Can you have a “cool job” and work for a big company?

Dream Jobs

Australia is currently advertising for what is arguably the best job in the world.  And it got me thinking – what would be the best job in the world for me? (The “for me” part is really key here.) And I thought about it – what would combine the stuff I love (travel, writing, reading, unstructured time, creativity, meeting and studying people) and still pay the bills and be an actual job.

Why did I think about actual jobs as opposed to dream jobs or pie in the sky stuff? Well, firstly – because I already blogged about what I would do if I won the lotto. Secondly, it’s a little boring to think about and thirdly, by now you realize I am neurotic and would start worrying about what I would do if money was no object and I start getting bored.

How am I narrowing down job as opposed to some sort of fantasy? I am not sure, but I think that it probably has two components – one is feasibility. I never really had a great chance of being an astronaut or rock star or Angelina Jolie. The other is that it has to be something that while maybe I would do if I wasn’t being paid – people do it because they get paid to do it.  No one is going to pay me to sit on an island and play with doggies and drink cocktails or to move my family to a loft in Paris and and write. Okay, they may – but it’s highly unlikely. Also, it can’t be a store I run – because I have a million stores and businesses I want to run – doggie day care, chocolate and coffee shops, after-school centers for teens, organic bakeries, “green” consulting firms – the list goes on and on. And I already daydream about that all the time. But, since I have no capital, rich relatives that I would feel comfortable asking for investments or any forseeable inheritance, and am currently too lazy to hustle an SBA loan – let alone almost all of my dreams are retail dreams and I live in NYC and rent just makes it more daydream-worthy than realistic.

There are also jobs that I don’t currently have that I think I would like. But not really a dream job. Like, being a librarian. I am not entirely sure of what’s involved, but it sounds up my alley. Museum outreach coordinator. It sounds awesome, but I bet you there’s a lot of red tape that would drive me batty. I also have this odd fantasy about being front-of-house management in a great restaurant.

Okay, parameters in place.

Archaeology. Right? I mean – I was going to be an archaeologist at some point in my recent history. I only stopped because I didn’t want life as a student. And I hated the more boring parts of fieldwork. And all the reading of dry, technical scientific articles. And the whole publish or perish thing. Okay – maybe I would be an archaeologist if money wasn’t an issue and I could kind of just float around, picking the work I want to do and letting someone else handle the boring stuff. So, that’s a “win the lotto” hobby – not an ideal job.

Being a teacher! Maybe a social studies teacher in a private school for smart kids. Summers off to do archaeology, expensed history books, work with smart people. Except – I don’t want to go for my Masters in Education (and the history pre-reqs I would surely need). Oh, and I don’t really have any desire to teach.

Getting a little more difficult. What about my current job? I love my job! I do, really. Embarassingly, I am not always sure how to explain what it is I do, but I get to do marketing, customer service and think about and contribute to interesting topics and problems.  I work for a company that does good things, and I work in an environment that encourages me to grow, question, learn and that also solicits my opinions. And, I work with awesome people. So, I love my job. But is it my ideal job? Nope.

Don’t get me wrong – assuming my career continues an upward (and maybe sometimes sideways) trajectory, I will be a very happy camper. I want to learn more about customer experiences and think about ways to effect change. So, if I do this or something like this on a continuously improving level (and salary!)  for the next 40 years I will have no regrets and consider it a great career.  But my dream career? Nope. I have a feeling that most people feel the same way about their jobs. Or at least, I hope that people feel at least this way about their jobs.

And then it occurred to me – My ideal job would be a spa or luxury travel reviewer. It’s perfect! Travel, meeting new people, writing, giving people my opinion (man, I am incredibly self-important!), and presumably it pays somewhat decently. Right?

See, that’s the problem. I have no idea how this whole thing works. I started thinking about why I am not a travel writer.  The first reason is that it never really occurred to me until about Saturday. The second is that I do love my current job, and certainly was not thinking of rocking the boat now. The third, and probably most important is – I have zero idea of what it really entails. How does one get started in this? Is it generally freelance? Is this something that could pay the bills? I have lots of bills and can’t really afford to make less than I do.

Do I have to just start writing reviews of things and submitting them to magazines and hope someone thinks I am awesome and eventually starts paying me? Do I have to start in a mail room somewhere, making someone else’s travel itineraries until someone (accidentally!) falls down a flight of stairs and I have to bravely go in their stead and then the senior editor realizes I am the J.K. Rowling of the luxury travel world? How much do reviewers make? Is it a cut throat business or a little known secret? Is it one of those things where these people were already super rich and do this for fun?

I have no idea. I am going to start looking into it, because my gut says that you probably have to freelance for awhile. And if that’s all that comes of this thought, I will be super, super excited. And for the love of all things holy – if you have any idea where to start researching or you are best friends with the editor of a travel magazine and you think I am the best blogger ever, hook a girl up!

So, that’s why I don’t have my dream job. Yet. Or I may never. Or I will just never be happy because even when I had the guts and financial means to go for my dream, I declined (apologies to all of my awesome professors who wrote me recommendations).

What’s your dream job? Please don’t say something like “I want to get paid to sit home and watch TV” or “caretaker of giant pile of money” or “one of the first 5 employees at Google”. Is it your current job? Your boss’ job? Would you rather be a doctor? Is it in your field, but with a different company?  And almost as importantly – why isn’t it your job now?

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