Tag Archives: Random

Little Erica Teevee

4 Replies

Dear Internet,

I’ve been watching too much TV. Which is funny, because Frank and I have cut out cable and regular TV. We are Hulu Plus and Netflix on the XBOX 360 people now. I’m not totally on board, because I sometimes miss being able to watch live TV, and I’m a day behind watercooler (Facebook) chatter and no one has Suze, forcing me to listen to financial advice on the plane and in gyms on my iPhone. I know, I know – how do I make it through this rough life? Saving about $70 a month cushions the blow.

And, we still magically get NY1, so Pat Kiernan still reads me the paper in the morning. Thank god.

So, what do I watch? It seems like … everything. There just happens to be a lot of great TV on lately, and none of it is “reality tv” thankyouverymuch.

  • Parks and Recreation
  • Castle
  • Bones
  • House
  • Community
  • Terra Nova (which totally is awful, bad TV but we can’t stop watching – stop laughing)
  • The Office
  • Modern Family
  • How I Met Your Mother (although I’m taking a break from this – the dead dad thing is still a little too close to home)
  • Daily Show/Colbert

And I can’t wait for the return of 30 Rock, even if I’m giving it side-eye for colluding with Whitney in taking Community out of rotation.

What are you watching?

The Start of Something Random

3 Replies

I’ve been trying to find a way to make my blog postings more frequent without it being “And today I had a conference call, came home, walked the dog, watched some stuff on Hulu, called my grandma/other random family member, then fell asleep, fighting the dog for blankets.”

I could get a little deeper, but then all you’ll hear about are stories about how I was sick, my sister was sick, my mother was in the hospital (she’s now out and fine) and I’m getting adjusted to the new job. And I know y’all want crazy grandma stories – but … it’s gone from “listen to what the crazy lady did now” to “this is a bad situation and I’m now laughing out of sheer frustration and exhaustion.” Between all that, ongoing grief about my dad and random wedding stuff – that’s about what’s going on here in my head.

Hopefully, I’ll start seeing the sunny side again and have fun stories to share with you that don’t involve threatening to call government social services.

In the meantime, please feel free to

  • Leave advice on how to handle having to carry both a BlackBerry and an iPhone
  • Explain why anyone uses a BlackBerry? They’re awful!
  • Find me somewhat affordable non-suede, low-heel wedges in bright purple
  • Tell me what shoes to wear to a black tie wedding in late October. I stupidly bought some cute strappy sandal things from Aerosoles (What? I’m an old lady!) but I bought them in August, forgetting that October is fall. I can’t wear stockings, right? It needs to be closed toe shoes?
  • Confirm my suspicion that I should just keep going for “1″ when choosing my deduction withholding thing.

Also, how cool is this banister?

 

All the Facts I Need to Know

1 Reply

Here’s an IM snippet from my life -

Erica:  I have a question. You’ve explained this to me before. But I’ve forgotten.
Very Patient Friend Sean: shoot
Erica: How do I [do simple math thing that I never quite learned in third grade]?
Very Patient Friend Sean: [easy and thorough explanation, complete with examples of this idiotic problem that I've written down now but will forget how to do again soon]

(obviously edited to protect the terminally idiotic)

Erica: Thank you. You may now return to your regular scheduled, non-third-grade math life.
Sean: Watching the stock market on fire?  check
Erica:  Please. I can’t [do that simple math thing], you think I have a solid position on our economy? How about “Everyone sucks, the middle and lower income brackets are getting screwed and Obama is disappointing.” Will that cover me?
Sean:  Yeah that pretty well covers it.
Erica: Its pretty much part of my default paradigm.
Erica: that and “people settle by water.”
Erica: With those two, I can pretty much fake any conversation, anywhere.
Sean: that will come in handy when we all go Mad Max in a few years
Erica: p.s. i may be blogging this conversation of ours.
Sean: about the math?
Erica: I may leave that part out.

So, aside from accepting that my dog may have better math skills than I do – it’s pretty true about the very few things I’ve needed to know that have gotten me through a lot of cocktail  parties and more than my fair share of social studies essays.

I’ve really only needed to know a few things to BS my way through a good chunk of conversations.  Sure, I’ve had to add in some opinions and make some inferences and leaps – but the backbones are:

1. People settle by water.
2. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
3. The Magna Carta was signed in 1215. It had something to do with limiting the rights of the lords. Or the kings. Or something. But amazingly, it’s come up in my life a few times, and I am always super proud of remembering that date.
4. I have a pretty solid understanding of evolution and the follies of Lamarckian theories of inheritance.
5. An army marches on it’s stomach.
6. I have a decent recognition of a good chunk of Shakespearean and Biblical stories.

With those handful of things, I’ve managed to fool most people into thinking I’m pretty reasonably intelligent. And for the rest of it? There’s people who will keep my secret and help explain basic arithmetic to me. Or why planes stay up. Or why water doesn’t just spontaneously get created. And those poor fools will have to keep explaining it to me – because my brain doesn’t have any more room and is full of stories about polygamous, mentally-ill Nazi vampires. And Yiddish. And trivia about Elvis. And which fork to use for which course. You know, important stuff.

Potpourri for $200, Alex

nov. 2004 006_editedYou know what’s worse than a blog post explaining why they had stopped blogging? A second blog post where the author explains why she stopped blogging and has promised to return.  So this won’t be one. Except, it kind of already is.

Okay, so a recap. Where have I been? Well, since June:

  • Frank left for his summer season in Iceland.
  • My dad and sisters came to visit me for 11 days. In my one bedroom apartment. For 11 days.
  • Dad borrowed my car and it was towed.
  • Had my office moved to midtown from all the way downtown.
  • My dog bit the downstairs neighbor. Everyone’s fine, but that was a pretty tense, tear-filled week.
  • Eva is now in weekly “group therapy” classes with lots of other dogs and doing great.
  • I received the world’s craziest email from a high school acquaintance of mine regarding my dog training techniques. While I didn’t take anything to heart, recitations of this punctuation deficient email have provided hours of endless entertainment. Did you guys know I was ” a hypocrite and youre (sic) pretentious” Also, I’m an “imposter.” I’m still not sure why, but it did cause me to realize I needed both a “professional Facebook page” and one for potential ticking high school drama bombs.
  • Flo was found on her floor, unconscious after three days. Double pneumonia, kidney failure, a heart attack and some sort of liver issue. Amazingly, she’s fine and torturing people in a rehab center.
  • My other grandma hurt her leg and is still in a rehab center, recovering.
  • Yes, for those of you keeping track at home, that’s two grandmothers in two rehab centers, in two states.
  • All of the above happened in the same two weeks.
  • Someone tossed a dog out of their car near my apartment and I took her to the vet and found her a foster home. We are still looking for a permanent home for her. Can you help?
  • I went hiking and messed up my knee pretty badly.
  • I fell in love with Gotham Girls Roller Derby
  • It got really busy at work, and I’m finally feeling as productive as I should be.  I’m also learning all sorts of new stuff that I didn’t realize I wanted to know, but I’m glad I do.

And I’m sure lots of other stuff.  And I think part of why I haven’t been blogging (as if the above wasn’t enough of a time suck) is because I still don’t know what I want this blog to be so it felt difficult to pick up the pen again, so to speak. And now that BlogHer is coming up really quickly (and I am attending – are you?) I feel like I should figure it out. Soon. I’ve been inspired by so many other wonderful, new-ish blogs but I can’t seem to figure out my niche.

I keep being torn by things I feel like I should write about, that will make me some sort of famous internet superstar and secure me lots of future jobs but may bore me, or if I should write a more mundane, personal blog, in which it can’t really ever be authentic because not only does it have my name on it and my friends read it, but potential future employers of that fabulous unknown future job would be. And can you, at this point really mix the two?

Can’t someone just give me a book deal and pay me to write guest posts already? Or send me fabulous exciting swag to review?

The List of Awesome Blogs I Have Found Recently That Make Me Happy, Inspire Me and Make Constantly Rethink This Blog (Warning, there is absolutely no cohesiveness to this list)

  • Epbot (the girly, nerdy blog from the creator of CakeWrecks)
  • 20SomethingFinance
  • Hyperbole and a Half (this blog makes me laugh so hard, I actually can’t read an entry all at once, because my sides hurt and my co-workers look at me funny, until I send them all the link. I’m a giant, nerdy fangirl)
  • Rage Against The Minivan (It’s a blog about adoption and mixed-ethnicity families and it’s written by a minister’s wife and I have no idea how I started reading it, but I’m totally engrossed.)
  • An MBA is Forever
  • OneWomanMarketing
  • WonderpugGraphics: The Blog (My good friend Carolann. She was a co-worker but now she’s moved on to something new and awesome. Thank god I have her blog to keep my company. It’s not going to share cookies in the middle of the day, but it will have to do.)
  • SheGeeks.net

PotpourriCreative Commons License photo credit: Lathyrus

My Middle Name is Schadenfreude

We all have a bit of this (defined as “largely unanticipated delight in the suffering of another which is recognized as trivial and/or appropriate”) but I think that my internet stalking hobby has made what used to be unanticipated, actually anticipated and actually a little … awful and excessive?

It used to not be strangers. It used to just be trainwrecks I knew from high school, or former colleagues. Between LinkedIn and blogs and Facebook statuses, it was easy. It was amusing to see that chick with five “fiancees” by age 25 or the revolving door of “it’s complicated” to “single” and then “engaged” of friends of friends. It wasn’t the nicest thing of me, but it seemed harmless. Like, going to your 10 year reunion a little bit early. And … every day. We all do it, right?

But once I started getting more into blogging and networks, it got worse. Now it’s not just people I knew, even tangentially – it’s internet strangers. It’s horror shows from the internet, and they just put it all out there. And sometimes they weren’t outright nutcases, just people who I disagree with. And because they aren’t my contemporaries, all of a sudden there are young people who are making mistakes I know they could avoid, and people my age, but from a different part of the country who expect different things out of life. I don’t know. I get nuts.

I don’t often comment, but the posts in my head are either vicious or belittling. And sometimes I can’t help myself, and I wonder why I feel the need to comment in the first place. Because they put it out there? Because I want to show I know better? Do I actually care about these people, or do I just care about being right? Sometimes I seriously get riled up. It’s  known in my circle of friends as going “Internet Crazy.” And it happens to me on a level usually reserved for talking about politics.

The answer just seems so simple – stop reading. No one is forcing me to read these blogs, or add these people as contacts. The internet is so wide and varied that I could simply remove them from my Google reader and never hear from them again. And yet? I don’t.

schadenfreude

Am I alone?

Five Questions with Genius Pending

As part of the 20sb blog swap (first time I have ever done this!) I was introduced to Jay Ferris at Genius Pending. This may be one of the best things to come out of the group yet!  I don’t think I could explain what Genius Pending is about – but really? Who cares. It makes me laugh, and when I see a new post – I generally save it for last (like the way I eat  – I like the good stuff to be the last taste. Then I pick on other people’s plates.)

The other reason I like Jay, is that despite plenty of advance notice -we are both slackers. This was supposed to be a swap for yesterday. We failed. We also failed on picking a theme. We decided he would ask me five questions, and I would ask him, and we would post each other’s answers on the other one’s site.  I know. We are real innovators.

So, without further ado – “The Questions”

If you could live in any fantasy realm (literature or movie), which would it be? And given that it’s fantasy realm – what race are you?

It’s a toss-up between Harry Potter and Star Wars, specifically between being a wizard or being a Jedi, or even more specifically between living in a land of magic and one with the sweet bonus of interstellar travel.  In the end I’d probably have to go with the Harry Potter universe, if for no other reason because I would undoubtedly cut something off each time I attempted to use my lightsaber.

Is there a book or movie that you wished you had written?

I feel that way about most of Chuck Palahniuk’s stuff.  He’s pretty much the perfect blend of funny and totally fucked up, which reminds me a great deal of my childhood.

If you could be any profession, forget about the money, what would you be? (cop-out answers like “writer, philanthropist and rockstar” are unacceptable.)

Travel writer.  Specifically one who covers the roller coaster and brewery scene.  Although it’s not likely that the two would ever be covered on the same day, lest it result in a picture such as this one.

What do you REALLY think of my site? Do you think we would be friends in real life?

You seem cool, I like your sense of humor, and you have pretend pets.  I think we would absolutely be friends in real life, especially were I to run into your mustached alter ego, Questionably-Hygienic Sanchez.

What kind of blogs do you hate?

Hate is a pretty harsh word for a group of people that are so easy to avoid, but if I had to use it, I’d say that I hate the kinds of blogs that are all about white supremacists hurling agitated kittens at underprivileged children.

And that, my friends – is Jay Ferris. To read my answers to his (much more creative) questions, check out Genius Pending.


Fangirls, Steak and Yiddish

My first piece of excitement to share with my loyal readers is a cute article in the NY Times called “Yiddish Resurfaces as City’s 2nd Political Language” Nothing earthshattering, but I wanted to share. Did you know Colin Powell speaks a little Yiddish?

The second piece is about my awesome dinner tonight. It’s Restaurant Week in NYC which means fancy restaurants only charge $35 for a 3-course meal. I went with some of the coolest girls ever (some friends I met at work) to Delmonico’s on the advice of our boss. Delmonico’s is famous for being ancient (opened in 1835), having the most interesting clientele and is credited with inventing Eggs Benedict, Lobster Newburg, and Baked Alaska.

As we walked up to the restaurant (not too far from our office) I saw a familiar looking figure go up the stairs right before us. Big guy, glasses, wearing shorts and a t-shirt. It looked a little bit like … no … it couldn’t be. Oh my god, but it was. Kevin Smith. And he was holding the door for us.

Let me explain. I have lived in NYC my whole life. I have bumped into tons of celebrities, seem them on the street. We all pretend to be too cool for school here, so I never really got too excited, or made a big deal. Except – Kevin Smith! I have always loved him, and I won’t pretend that I didn’t have a crazy crush on him in the early years.  I have never marked out or been so excited before. I had no idea what to do.  I kind of just stared at him, as he held the door – trying to confirm in my head that it was him. I got a little ridiculous and just kind of stared deeply at him and was all “Thank You. Very Much.”KevSmith

I mean – what do you do? I wasn’t even sure it was him until the last second and then even if I was – I didn’t want to make a big deal out of anything. The poor guy is just going out to dinner and what could I say? Anything would just seem trite. It’s not like he changed my life, or saved me from jumping off a bridge. I just think he is funny and adorable and ohmygod, it’s Kevin Smith!  So, I didn’t say anything, other than an overly emphatic thanks for holding the door.

First we had drinks at the bar (I needed to calm the hell down). The bar was great, the bartenders were funny and adorable and both Jill and I ordered stuff we would never have ordered, because Carolann ordered such an adult drink (she even knew what gin she wanted!) – we were obviously outclassed.  We gossiped, had a great time and about an hour later, agreed to sit down.  Of course, Carolann asked the maitre’d to seat me next to ohmygodkevinsmith.

So, we sat. About a table away from Kevin, his gorgeous wife, his kid and some older couples. Maybe family. While the girls were awesome and trying to get me to say something to him, I wouldn’t do that. Not with his whole family there. If he was just with a friend, maybe I would have sent over a drink or something, but this was just going to have to do. I am sure my constant leaning over and staring at him was flattery/terrifying enough.

Oh, the food? I had Lobster Bisque, the filet mignon and dessert and a glass of a really nice Cabernet. The lobster bisque was delicious, but not very hearty. Tiny portion but delicious flavor. The filet was perfect. I ordered it medium-rare, but I think I got Carolann’s rare, and I will never order it medium again. For dessert, instead of the brownie or cheesecake that was advertised, we were offered some sort of yogurt panna cotta or a a “Yankee Doodle” cake. We went for the Doodle, which was stale and uninspiring and a Baked Alaska to split – which was delicious.  Then we guilted the adorable Croatian waiter into giving us a brownie, which was even better, and had marshmallows on top. We had a blast, and I can’t wait to go out with these ladies again, but the night will always be “The Night Kevin Smith Held The Door For Me.”

Always Prepared: The Toothbrush Stash

I read a post by the lovely Marie at McKinneyOatesCereal about her toothbrushes and her reluctance to share that she shares a toothbrush with her husband (Frank and I have been doing the same thing  for about a year- don’t be grossed out though. It’s one of those awesome electric ones. We have different heads – mine is purple, of course.) And I just went to the dentist and got a clean bill of health – no doubt thanks to the toothbrush. It has a built in timer, which stops me from brushing “until it feels clean.” And, because I am 7, I was obviously thrilled with the sample toothbrush. And then Frank reminded me of the “toothbrush story” and suggested I share it.  This would be the second time I write about toothbrushes.

Frank and I moved out together about 3 years ago. It was the first time either one of us had lived away from our parents, and I got a little obsessed with playing house. I wanted to have matching plates, and place mats and avoid all Ikea furntiure. I wanted to make the kind of home that reflected “us” (whatever that means) and I wanted to do all the goofy stuff that you always said you would do, when you were a teenager and thought about running your own household (other people did this, right?).  And for me, part of that was the idea of stocking up. I love my mom, but she is not the most organized person – and I always longed for the particular joys of reaching for Tupperware and knowing where the matching lid is and never running out of detergent mid-cycle. I wanted to be able to invite friends over, last-minute and have some easy to prepare food and snacks available.  This isn’t easy to do in an apartment (storage issues) but I was determined to be able to play a decent hostess for my friends.

One night, about three years ago, a bunch of friends were over late, and we had plans to hang in the morning. We asked everyone if they wanted to crash in the living room, and they agreed. I swooned when I was able to break out enough pillows, towels, blankets and sleepystuff for everyone. And then I almost beamed with pride when I handed everyone a fresh toothbrush from our stash. They oohed and aahed, and I felt like I had earned my place among the Jewish grandmothers in my lineage.  It was a really, really pathetic high.

And of course – a few weeks later, I found out that Frank was Pissed!  You see, it’s not that he didn’t want our friends to be comfortable – he did. But while in my head, that stash said “You are so prepared – when anyone needs anything, you are going to be able to help them” – in his head, the stash said “You are so prepared – you have all these toothbrushes, and you got them on sale and you will never have to buy one again!”

So, now we share our mega-toothbrush and save our travel ones for travel. We still have a stash, but it’s much smaller and we are both aware of each other’s intended uses for this bounty. With anything, communication is key. Which reminds me of the time where Frank made this whole mail-organization system and forgot to tell me …

Not-Quite Lunchtime Blogging

When I started this blog, I just wanted a place to write – maybe tell stories about my family and some silly things that happen to me. And Yiddish.  But I became a little inhibited because … some of my family reads this and I never know whats going to  upset someone – and because I  know what certainly will upset some people (and those are kinda the best stories). Because I don’t believe its really possible to be entirely anonymous on the internet – I decided to just lay my cards on the table. Which means some stories, will never be told.

So then I decided that if I was going to be me, publicly – I should maybe use it to my advantage and start writing about professional stuff here. Marketing, issues regarding customer service, etc. But then – the title kind of made no sense, and I was a little inhibited because people I work with read this – and while in theory, that should be a good thing when talking about professional things, it just felt a little too … close. Also, that’s a lot of pressure to think about career stuff that often – and I would miss writing about random things, and it would be too big of a mish-mosh to have a “professional” blog interspersed with stories about gym towels.

So, then I had a freak-out about what my blog was about. And then kind of just settled on “stuff that happens to me and that I think about.” And that was nice – I felt it really freed me up to talk about whatever I wanted to talk about and not worry too much about targeting an audience or anything.  I decided to celebrate this with a blog redesign involving unicorns.

I was reading a new-found great blog called “Plight of the Pumpernickel” and she had an awesome post about being a “Lunch Break Blogger” which she defines as a “blogger who discusses things that occur to him or her on a lunch break.” This is perfect! I am so that kind of blogger-except I generally don’t write too much at work, and lunchtime is reserved for lengthy conversations in the break room about the merits of vampires versus werewolves and questioning if koala bears are poisonous to humans.

I mentally compose my blogs while on the subway (if I don’t have a book with me) or walking to and from the subway (if I am not on the phone with a random family member who may or may not be in the hospital, or telling me why they aren’t speaking to a different family member).  I headblog while waiting in line, or in the shower. Then, I generally jot down a draft of what I was thinking about, spend some time in the evening writing about it and then sometimes let it sit there until I post later the next day (with all these drafts, you would think I manage to avoid using the word “awesome” 20 times in a single post. No dice).

So, while “lunch break blogger” isn’t an entirely accurate description, it’s a pretty damn good one. It frees me up to write about professional stuff, the upcoming search for an apartment, my strong feelings about Veronica Mars and some stuff about dying languages only spoken by 80-year old bubbes and me.

The Spelling Bee

It’s been quiet around here. How about a thrilling story from my youth?

I was always a little nerdy (shocker, I know.) And I am naturally a pretty good speller (this doesn’t mean I don’t make typos or spell some words wrong occasionally. Don’t go being an internet jerk and find all my misspellings.) And way back in fourth grade, I was a champion speller. Really.

I went to this awesome elementary school. It was really a crazy place where we ran our own businesses, went on whale watching tours and somehow were let out at lunch time to go to a shopping center for lunch. In any case, like most sane schools, we had an annual spelling bee. The winner gets to go on to the district, etc. The way most classes handled it, was that there was a class spelling bee, and then the winner gets to go on to the school level. Well, I won Mr. Feldman’s class contest, and went to an assembly with all the other 4th, 5th and 6th grade winners.

Me, in what I think is around 4th grade. Mom isn't great at labeling pictures.

Me, in what I think is about 4th grade. Mom isn't great at labeling pictures.

This thing was really a nail biter. People were dropping like flies, but sure enough, it was between me and Douglas Kasim (I am intentionally misspelling his name. If he found this blog in a vanity search, I would die!).  Douglas was a 6th grader. A sixth grader! I was in fourth grade. This.Was.Huge.  After a tense moment where the judges debated over “mountainous” – I won the spelling bee. I remember looking out and seeing Mr. Feldman do some sort of crazy fist-pumping action.  As the winner I got some giant book called “Liberty” and a spot in the district competition.

Well, for a nerd like me? This was heaven. I went home, every grandparent, everywhere was called. It was a Big Deal. The next morning at school, I was called down to the principal’s office.  I almost died. The principal’s office? I have never, ever been down there. Terrified, I went down. In the office was Mr. Siegerman and Douglas Kasim. Apparently, the district competition is only for 5th – 8th grades. Fourth graders were not allowed, and were only allowed to compete on the school level for practice. No one ever thought we would win. So, not only was I not allowed to go to the district competition, they actually asked me for the book back! They were going to strip me of the prize! I don’t remember what happened after that, because I saw the book in my mom’s house the other day – so I guess maybe she called him and told him to go to hell.

In any case, Douglas went to the district. And lost in the first round. And I was never, ever able to win a spelling bee again. I totally freeze. In 5th grade, I got out on the word “chocolate” (I forgot the ‘o’ in the middle).

My grandma had a trophy made up for me. It is still prominently displayed on my bookshelf.

spellingtrophy

Not My Bookshelf. Also, I felt an unexplained need to conceal my last name.

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